Tournament of Children's Books Championship

At long last we are down to the final two books: The Very Hungry Caterpillar and We're Going on a Bear Hunt.In case you missed how we got to this point, here are links to Day 1, Day 2, the Sweet 16, the Elite 8, and the Final 4. Before we tip-off here's one last look at how we got here:

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The Tournament of Children's Books Championship

(1) The Very Hungry Caterpillar versus (4) We're Going on a Bear Hunt
My wife’s family lives about 3 ½ hours away. Being stuck in a car with two kids under two for 3 ½ hours is no one’s idea of a good time. On our most recent trip, after about 2 ½ hours stuck in his car seat James was finished. He was just fussy and wanted the trip to be over with. There’s no room in the car for one of us to be in the backseat to entertain him so out of desperation I tried something different. I started reciting We’re Going on a Bear Hunt.

In addition to the previous virtues assigned to We’re Going on A Bear Hunt in this contest, it also has the benefit of being easy to memorize. You’ve got the main chorus “We’re Going on A Bear Hunt, We’re Gonna Catch a Big One, What a Beautiful Day, We’re Not Scared, OH NO!” and then you encounter the obstacles (Grass, River, Mud, Forest, Snowstorm, Cave) which each have their own sound effects (Swishy Swashy, Splash Splosh, Squelch Squerch, Stumble Trip, Hoo Woo, and Tiptoe). Then you just reverse it when the bear chases you home. Easy!

So as I started reciting the story James calmed down and just listened with wide eyes. Then we got to the cave. I repeated, “Tip Toe Tip Toe Tip Toe! What’s that?!?!? One Shiny wet nose (I see James start smiling in the rear view mirrorDon't worry, he is still rear-facing. We have a mirror on his seat's headrest.), two big furry ears, two big googly eyes, IT’S A BEAR!”. At this point James let out a big growl (He’s always the bear) and had a huge smile on his face. When I finished he immediately made the “more” sign. For the next half hour we kept going on a bear hunt until eventually the little guy nodded off to sleep.

As you might recall The Very Hungry Caterpillar worked wonders on an airplane, but it just wouldn’t have worked in this situation where we didn’t have the book. The visuals in The Very Hungry Caterpillar are very important. For We’re Going on a Bear Hunt, the sound effects are the part that James loves. For allowing us to keep our sanity by keeping James entertained in the most challenging situationDAGGER!, We’re Going on a Bear Hunt takes home the title.

Tournament of Children's Books Final Four

Of the 32 books that started this tournament only 4 surviveIn case you missed them, here are links to Day 1, Day 2, the Sweet 16, and the Elite 8.: The Very Hungry Caterpillar, The Monster at the End of this Book, We’re Going on a Bear Hunt, and Shark vs. Train. On one side of the field we have two of my favorite books growing up, books that I love sharing with my son. On the other side are two books that I never read as a child but are books that James has discovered and will one day love reading to his own children. Which books will make it to the title game? Let’s get to it!

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The Final Four

(1) The Very Hungry Caterpillar versus (3) The Monster at the End of this Book
Wow. What a great matchup. These two books have quite possibly the two biggest shocking twist endings of all children’s books. In The Very Hungry Caterpillar you have a sweet little caterpillar going about his business eating every single thing in sight. As a kid reading this, everything seems to be going along normally: “Wow this caterpillar eats a lot of food… some of it looks yummy. And oh hey look the caterpillar has gotten bigger from all that food. I guess that’s still normal…Mommy and Daddy tell me I grow too. Okay wow that cocoon thing is weird looking but I guess it’s similar to my crib maybe the caterpillar is taking a nap and OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!?!?! HOW DID THAT CATERPILLAR TURN INTO THIS COLORFUL MONSTORSITY?!?!?!”

Then there’s Grover. As a kid you so delight in his increasing terror at facing the monster at the end of the book, but deep down you too feel a little afraid. But that little bit of fear is nothing compared to Grover’s increasingly hysterical antics, and from the safety of Daddy’s lap you are enjoying putting the screws to poor old Grover. But still you hesitate on that final page thinking oh my maybe I should have listened to Grover after all and you begin to close your eyes just in case and hug Daddy a little tighter and then BAM! Grover IS the monster at the end of this book! Your jaw drops and you crack up at how Grover scared himself (and you) silly over something that turned out to be nothing. There’s a life lesson here you file away in your subconscious for later reflection.

So who wins this battle of surprise endings? Well, only one of these books ended up on the wall in the kids’ playroom:

(4) We’re Going on a Bear Hunt versus (4) Shark vs. Train
What a Cinderella run for Shark vs. Train. It was helped by a very easy draw in the early rounds, and buoyed by a late surge of interest from James, Shark vs. Train rode that momentum to upset Goodnight Moon in the regional final. So is it enough to knock off We’re Going on a Bear Hunt?

Well I was struggling with this one. In fact, I had paused after the above paragraph for a few days, thinking about how to approach this matchup as I enjoy reading both books to James very much, he loves each of them, and I don’t have any nostalgia from my own childhood associated with them. Should the mural approach be the deciding factor again?

But today an interesting thing happened. As James was settling down for his afternoon nap I asked if he would like Daddy to read him a story. “Sure” he replied. We walked to his room and as we approached the chair we read in he made the shark sound (“Doo Doo”) which always indicates he wants me to read Shark vs. Train. Halfway through the book something caught his eye and he pushed the book away. “What is it?” I asked. He proceed to roar and point at something lying on the ground… it was We’re Going on a Bear Hunt. I asked him if he wanted to read that instead. Big nod yes. So let it be written. So let it be done.To kill the firstborn pharaoh son. I'm Creeping Death! (Sorry, classical reference. Had to be done.)

Well at last we are down to the final two. Tune in tomorrow night for the championship match-up between The Very Hungry Caterpillar and We're Going on a Bear Hunt.

Tournament of Children's Books Elite 8

Today we determine the Final 4! Which books get to cut down nets and raise banners? Which ones fall short just on the cusp of greatness?In case you missed them, here are links to Day 1, Day 2, and the Sweet 16. Here's the Elite 8:

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There are no easy outs left in this tournament! Let’s get down to business!

Mother Goose Region

(1) The Very Hungry Caterpillar defeats (6) Curious George to the Rescue
Curious George to the Rescue can occupy James for maybe 10 minutes. When James was about 11 months old we took him to Florida to visit his Great Grandmother who had been sick. We were fortunate enough to book a two hour direct flight, but as anyone who has ever flown with small children knows that two hours can be a long time. Luckily I was armed with The Very Hungry Caterpillar. This book somehow managed to keep James occupied for almost the entire flight there and back. How did we do it? Remember that page where the hungry little caterpillar goes nuts and eats a piece of chocolate cake, an ice cream cone, a pickle, a piece of cherry pie, a lollipop, a cupcake, and all sorts of other junk? On this page I would take James’ index finger in my hand and say where’s the lollipop? I’d point to the pickle and yell “ERNT”. I’d point to the cake and do the same. Then I’d point to the lollipop and yell “DING”. He thought this was hilarious and we proceeded to repeat this game over and over and over. I was so happy to have him happy on the plane the repetitiveness didn’t even bug me. For keeping my son happy on an airplane The Very Hungry Caterpillar deserves a spot in the Final Four.

Little Golden Books Region

(3) The Monster at the End of this Book defeats (1) Peek-a-Who
Peek-a-Who has made a great run so far in this tournament with its owl powered offense and great sound effects. But Peek-a-Who’s weaknesses finally caught up to it in this match-up against a well-rounded opponent. Peek-a-Who suffers because by trying to include every word that rhymes with who that is easily illustrated, they forgot that the words should also all be onomatopoeia. Yelling boo with ghosts, hoo with owls, and choo-choo with trains all make sense; yelling zoo at a bunch of animals or yelling you at a very shoddy mirror? Not so much. It just feels silly yelling Peek-a-Zoo! On the other hand, The Monster at the End of this Book excels with how the author uses font size and color to help the reader know exactly how to enunciate effectively. WHAT did that say? On the VERY first page WHAT did that say? Did that say there’s a MONSTER at the end of this book? OH I am SO SCARED of MONSTERS! Not even the most tone-deaf adult reader can mess this one up. Grover might be a scardey cat but he secures his spot in the Final Four.

Dr. Seuss Region

(4 )We’re Going on a Bear Hunt defeats (3) Mr. Brown Can Moo Can You
I’ll never forget James’ first trip to the zoo. He was just under a year old and I knew what I was expecting my favorite moment to be: when James first encountered a real live bear. As soon as we entered the zoo I informed him that we were going on a bear hunt. He was definitely excited as we moved from animal to animal even as we failed to encounter bears. Little did he know we were slowly but surely moving towards the bear exhibit. The whole time I kept singing “We’re going on a bear hunt”. The great thing about the Cincinnati Zoo bear exhibit is there is a fake cave you can walk through. So just like in We’re Going on a Bear Hunt James and I tiptoed, tiptoed, and tiptoed through the cave.

And when we came out… BEARS! When I picked James up so he could see better he pointed and said “Bear”.

He could barely say anything other than Mama and Dada at that point so I can’t put into words just how thrilling this was for his Mother and I. So apologies to Mr. Brown, it's a cute book and all, but only one book in this match-up has produced a memory that I’m sure will last a lifetime.

Good Night Region

(4) Shark vs. Train defeats (2) Goodnight Moon
I have never understood it when authors say things like “The way this character turned out really surprised me”. I’ve always wondered how that made any sense. I mean they are the ones who created the character right? But now I know because when I saw how this region looked I fully expected Goodnight Moon to win easily. After all it had been one of James’ favorite books early on, had experienced a revival when we discovered that the mouse moved on every page and we could play a game trying to find him, and of course it’s one of the all time classic children’s books. But then a funny thing happened. As I was writing these match-ups James became more and more obsessed with Shark vs. Train. He is just so adorable as he makes shark and train sounds as we read. The book also has tons of cute little details to point out, absolutely horrible puns (which I love), and holds James’ interest despite its length. James started out liking this book because of the shark but now he also loves trains. In fact, his new favorite book (discovered too late for inclusion in the field) is The Little Engine That Could, which before Shark vs. Train was too long for him. It was a good run Goodnight Moon. I look forward to reading you to James’ little sister. But in this matchup you got railroaded and chewed up. CHOMP! Shark vs. Trains wins in an upset!

The Final 4 is set! Tomorrow we find out who among The Very Hungry Caterpillar, The Monster at the End of this Book, We're Going on a Bear Hunt, and Shark vs. Train will be battling for the title!

Tournament of Children's Books Sweet 16

Welcome back to the Tournament of Children’s Books! Only 16 books remain in the fight for James and Daddy’s favorite children’s book of all time. In you missed the first round action here are links to Day 1 and Day 2. Here's the Sweet 16:

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We have some great match-ups today as we find out which books make the Elite 8. Let’s get to it!

Mother Goose Region

(1) The Very Hungry Caterpillar defeats (5) Around the Farm
Let’s be honest here. If the three Eric Carle books left in this tournament were the 96 Chicago Bulls, The Very Hungry Caterpillar would be Michael Jordan, Brown Bear would be Scottie Pippen, and Around the Farm would be Toni Kukoč. Or for you non-sports fans The Very Hungry Caterpillar is a vacation to Hawaii, Brown Bear a vacation to Florida, and Around the Farm a day trip to a water park. Yes Toni Kukoč was a fine NBA player, but MJ is one of the all-time greats. Yes, going to an amusement park is better than hanging out in your neighbor’s pool but Hawaii’s a honeymoon destination. Sorry Around the Farm, you’re great and all but you are just outclassed in this one.

(6) Curious George to the Rescue defeats (2) Chicka Chicka Boom Boom
This match-up was fairly easy to determine. James had a good solid three weeks recently where he wanted to read nothing but Curious George to the Rescue. He really loves when the poor chef gets covered in spaghetti and when George, Hundley, and Gnocchi all end up falling into the lake. He’s never had a similar run with Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. On top of that, this short version of Chicka Chicka Boom Boom (which ends when the letters fall out of the coconut tree) is knocked down a few pegs on Daddy’s list because of its association with the long version where Capital letters show up to rescue the letters that fell, all rhythm is lost, and nothing makes any sense. The long version is the director's cut that should have been left on the editing room floor. Curious George in the upset!

Little Golden Books Region

(1) Peek-a-Who defeats (4) Hand Hand Fingers Thumb
James loves monkeys, but he was an owl for Halloween for a reason. The boy loves owls. He loves making the owl sound. And not only does Peek-A-Who let him make owl noises he also on the very next page gets to make one of his other favorite sounds, BOO!. We always played Peek-a-boo with James and before I put him to bed after story time I always say “Give Daddy a Boo” and he puts his hands over his eyes, removes them, and yells "Boo". It’s super cute when he is so tired that it's barely a whisper. On Halloween we put a ghost figurine in the china cabinet and he learned to say boo when we asked him what sound it made. And if having both Hoo Hoo and Boo! wasn’t enough, Peek-a-Who also has a moo (he loves when Grandpa makes a cow noise) and choo-choo (he also has a thing for trains).

(3) The Monster at the End of this Book defeats (7) Eight Silly Monkeys
It’s a tough day for monkeys as lovable furry ole Grover comes out swinging. When I was a kid The Monster at the End of this Book was one of my favorite books. When my Mother read this to me I remember feeling so strong when I was able to turn the page despite Grover tying the pages together with knots, nailing them together with boards, and covering them with bricks. Thirty years later it is just as fun watching James do it. I remember how awesome it was when he began to turn the pages of books on his own and it’s so much fun to say “Please do not turn the page” in Grover’s voice and then whispering “Go ahead and turn it” into his ear. The smile on his face is just awesome when we turn the page and see the destruction we have wrought.

Dr. Seuss Region

(4) We’re Going on a Bear Hunt defeats (1) The Going-to-Bed Book
As we learned in Round 1 The Going-to-Bed Book has some great things going for it. It is super catchy and it does a great job of getting James ready for bed. Unfortunately, there’s one specific moment where it goes completely off the rails. The book starts with a big group of animals on a boat who are getting ready for bed. They take a bath, hang up their towels, find pajamas, and brush their teeth. Everything is perfectly normal so far. But then the animals exercise. What? I’m trying to wind this kid down and after I have him all clean and calm you want him to do some jumping jacks? I don’t think so! Now without that moment We’re Going on a Bear Hunt would still win this match-up, but exercising at night after cleaning up makes this a blowout win.

(3) Mr. Brown Can Moo Can You? Defeats (2) Brown Bear Brown Bear
This matchup of Brown vs. Brown was the hardest decision of the tournament thus far. In fact I had initially penciled in Brown Bear with the victory. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that Brown Bear had been skating by on James’ love for bears and the possibility of an all-bear regional final. But really, the brown bear is only on the first page and by the time we’ve reached the purple kitty or the blue horse the brown bear has already been forgotten and James is often losing interest. Mr. Brown Can Moo Can You on the other hand keeps James interested with fun sound effects the entire way including a Knock Knock (with Daddy knocking his hand on the wall), Splatt Splatt (lightningThe night we brought James home from the hospital lightning struck one of the huge trees that surround our house. It was the loudest thing I've ever heard. The tree is half dead now and needs to come down. You can bet I'm getting a baseball bat made out of it.), and James’ favorite Hoo Hoo (those owls are everywhere!). Mr. Brown moves on!

Good Night Region

(4) Shark vs. Train defeats (8) A Cuddle for Little Duck
James and I love to play a game we call Daddy Shark. It starts with me chasing James while making the shark sound (the doo doo doo doo from Jaws). He laughs, falls down, I tickle him, then I go and hide. If he doesn’t find me at first I make the shark sound as many times as it takes for him to track me down. I jump out, scare him, tickle him, and then run off and hide again. We repeat this over and over until Daddy Shark is lying on the floor trying to catch his breath. It’s a great game and I think James loves this book so much by association. In fact he makes the shark sound whenever he wants to read this book, which lately has been all the freaking time. The best thing about this book is it is so good and funny that even after reading it approximately 879 times it still amuses me when I get to the page when the shark and train are competing at carnival rides and the sign in front of the shark tank says, “You Must be This Crazy to Ride”. And of course I love the lack of opposable thumbs when they are playing Extreme Zombie Squirrel Motocross. James also loves to find the shark hiding behind the bed and the train in the closet when they are playing hide and seek. And … well you get the point. You had a good run Cuddle for Little Duck, but it ends here.

(2) Goodnight Moon defeats (6) B is for Bear
As previously mentioned James loves tractors. As word of this passed among family and friends he began receiving tractor toys. And of course if you have tractors you need a farm and animals. Before you knew it, what began as a small family owned farm turned into a giant toy agribusiness. The boy has 3 tractors, 1 barn, 1 silo, 4 pigs, 4 cows, 4 sheep, 3 horses, 1 chicken, 1 goat, and employs 4 farmers. James also happens to have several blocks shaped like half moons. Why do I mention this stuff here? Well, the look on James’ face when we lined up the half moon blocks and then had his cows jump over them just like the picture in Goodnight Moon was awesome. B is for Bear is a great book, but it doesn’t have a moment like that.

What a day! Fan favorites Chicka Chicka Boom Boom and Brown Bear Brown Bear go down! Come back Sunday night as we find out which books make the Final 4!

Round of 32 Day 2 (Tournament of Children's Books)

Welcome back to the Tournament of Children’s Books! Yesterday we had some blow outs, some upsets, and some hard fought victories. Here's how the field looks after Day 1:

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Let’s see what happens when the Dr. Seuss and Good Night regions kickoff!

Dr. Seuss Region

(1) The Going-to-bed Book defeats (8) ABC What Will I Be
ABC What Will I Be is a great book. For each letter of the alphabet there’s a cute illustration of a kid in an occupation (A is for Architect, B is for Ballerina, etc.), with each illustration hidden under a flap that James can lift up. This interaction is lots of fun for him and I enjoy the fact that traditionally male occupations like engineer are occupied by girls which will hopefully provide some inspiration for my five month old daughter someday. I only wish P would have been for Psychologist instead of Pastry Chef. Unfortunately, it’s just not enough to overcome the super catchy Going-to-bed book which I had memorized after the 2nd read through.

(4) We’re Going on a Bear Hunt defeats (5) Goodnight New York City
Tough tough draw here for Goodnight New York City, one of the two Goodnight World books (and the best) in the field. One of the great things about Goodnight New York City is it’s fun for both Daddy and James. There’s all sorts of cool things to point out (the horse in Central Park, the lions in front of the library) and it has wry nods that go right over James’ head such as when a previous illustration of a hot dog vendor is shown hanging in the art museum next to Van Gogh’s A Starry Night on a later page. But Goodnight New York City just doesn’t have the game to hang with We’re Going on a Bear Hunt. The fun of singing “Rock of Ages” on the Broadway show page just can’t beat the fun of going swishy swashy, squelch squerch, splash splosh, stumble trip, and hoo woo on our bear hunt.

(3) Mr. Brown Can Moo Can You defeats (6) Baby Woof Woof
Baby Woof Woof is cute and all with its animal noises and baby animals. But there’s just no way that style of play can compete with “BOOM BOOM BOOM Mr. Brown is a wonder. BOOM BOOM BOOM Mr. Brown makes thunder”. James loves the part when he gets to knock on the door and when he gets to make owl noises. Throw in the fact that Daddy always stumbles over the phrase “Friendly Foal” in Baby Woof Woof and this is a blowout.

(2) Brown Bear Brown Bear defeats (7) Good Night Little Star
As will become apparent in the later rounds of this tournament, James loves bears which you would think gives the edge to Brown Bear here. But Good Night Little Star features a Baby Bear and a Big Bear on every page. Even better, the parent bear is never identified as Mama Bear or Papa Bear so when I read it he’s always Daddy Bear. I really enjoy Good Night Little Star for that reason and because it features Daddy Bear and Baby Bear sitting in a hammock reading a book. We have a hammock and though James was too impatient this past summer to enjoy reading in it I have high hopes for this summer. Unfortunately it’s just not enough to get past Bill Martin Jr. and Eric Carle’s classic that seamlessly teaches colors, animals, and animal sounds in a way that entertains both James and Daddy. Carle is 3-0 in the tournament so far! As Mark Hamil once said, “Don’t f*** with the Jedi Master son”Yup. I just linked a video that drops an f-bomb in a post about children's books. This is why my wife is always yelling "WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE IN FRONT OF THE KIDS" at me.

Good Night Region

(8) A Cuddle for Little Duck defeats (1) Where’s Baby’s Belly Button
I have no idea why Where’s Baby’s Belly Button is such a big seller. James absolutely loves belly buttons. When he was younger he’d reach out and poke my belly button, I’d make the Pillsbury Doughboy noise, and he’d crack up. And he loves it when you try and get his belly button. But his reaction to this book is usually a big fat meh. Why? Well there’s only one belly button! But if you want to find a baby’s feet hiding behind a cat or baby’s hands hiding behind some bubbles then have at it! Many lift the flap children’s books lack an entertaining story but this one is especially egregious. A Cuddle for Little Duck on the other hand tells a great story of Little Duck’s adventures throughout the day, featuring all sorts of animals and bugs to point out and what has to be a Shake Your Tail Feather reference. A Cuddle for Little Duck pulls off the shocking upset and moves on.

(4) Shark vs. Train defeats (5) Goodnight Washington DC
The Goodnight World series heads home 0-2 after Goodnight Washington DC runs into the buzzsaw that is Shark vs. Train. Goodnight Washington DC is shorter than its New York counterpart but does have some pretty awesome pages. The first two pages are a zoo scene with about 20 different animals to point out including bears and monkeys. The Museum of Natural History spread has dinosaurs and more bears while the National Air Space Museum page has rockets and astronauts. But James can tell you what sounds the following things/animals make: Owls, Bears, Vacuum Cleaners, Pigs, Tractors, Cars, Sharks,In case you were wondering a shark makes a sound like “Doo Doo. Doo Doo. Doo doo doo doo doo”. Still confused? Think the music from Jaws. Toddlers believe anything you tell them. and Trains. A book that features two of these things in the title? And they go mano a mano in activities ranging from high diving to basketballJames also yells like Tarzan whenever he sees basketball because Daddy has taught him how to yell when you hang on the rim after you dunk on fools. It's important to teach kids the fundamentals. to ping pong? Yup that’s a Sweet 16 book right there.

(6) B is for Bear defeats (3) On the Day You Were Born
Imagine that a bunch of new age hippies got together and decided to write a children’s book explaining photosynthesis, tidal forces, the atmosphere’s role in the existence of life, and gravity to a toddler while also suggesting that the toddler's birth was so important that news of it passed from animal to animal across the world. This book just drips with pretentiousness. B is for Bear on the other hand teaches the alphabet using a fun rhyming scheme and has tons of awesome textures to play with. With On the Day You Were Born James’ eyes glaze over by page 2. In fact the only way On the Day You Were Born is interesting is if I change the words to “On the day you were born, dun dun dun dun dun the nurses all gathered round dun dun dun dun dun and gazed in wide wonder dun dun dun dun dun at the joy they had found.”Bad to the Bone better be stuck in your head now. With B is for Bear James loves playing with the kitten’s yarn, pointing out his mouth and nose, hooting and oinking with the owl and pig, shushing when the quiet puppy appears, getting super excited on the Y is for You Go On Take a Look page, and smashing his face into the mirror.

(2) Goodnight Moon defeats (7) 10 Tiny Puppies
10 Tiny Puppies had a good strategy here. The “The only thing cuter than a tiny puppy is MORE tiny puppies” strategy has made millions102 Dalmatians made $183 million. I can just imagine the Disney meeting: “What’s cuter than 101 Dalmatians? I know! 102 Dalmatians!”.. James loves the two page spread with the tiny puppies playing with a baseball and a glove amidst a plethora of bugs that he can point out. And the line “8 tiny puppies know to go on the funnies” still amuses me after reading this book for over a year and a half. Unfortunately, 10 Tiny Puppies got matched up with possibly the toughest 2 seed in the tournament, Goodnight Moon, one of the all time best children’s books and a favorite of both James and Daddy. 10 Tiny Puppies is cute but cute only gets you so far.

That takes us to the end of the first round. Things heat up tomorrow in the Sweet 16!

Round of 32 Day 1 (Tournament of Children's Books)

On Monday we set the field. Today, the Tournament of Children's Books begins with first round match-ups in the Mother Goose and Little Golden Books regions. Here's the field:

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Let's get started!

Mother Goose Region

(1) The Very Hungry Caterpillar defeats (8) Teddy’s House
The Very Hungry Caterpillar chews right through Teddy’s House in this first round blowout. My son absolutely loves Teddy’s House…when he can find it. Teddy’s House comes with a little stuffed bear (the eponymous Teddy) that fits inside the book. Each page of the book is a different room in Teddy’s house and has text describing items in each room. And that’s it. No plot. No story. Just here’s Teddy’s Bathroom. Here’s Teddy’s toilet. Here’s Teddy’s toothbrush. After 2700 or so times reading this book (my son loves to have Mommy or Daddy read this over and over) the mere sight of Teddy’s House puts my brain into sheer agony, so in a very mature response my wife and I hide Teddy’s House. A recent game of asking my son questions like, “Here’s Teddy’s crib, can you show me your crib?” has helped a bit, but The Very Hungry Caterpillar is sitting his starters in the second half of this match-up.

(5) Around the Farm defeats (4) Goodnight, Johnny Tractor
Goodnight, Johnny Tractor has a lot of things going for it. My son loves my tractorDespite its 62 inch mowing deck, ability to plow snow, and five figure price tag, my wife insists our tractor is a riding lawn mower. Of course she's from Northern Ohio where the tractors are bigger than battleships. and when the weather is warm we are always taking tractor rides around the yard. But unfortunately Johnny Tractor doesn’t look a lot like my tractor (even though both are John Deere machines) so James hasn’t put it together that the star of this book is one of his favorite things. Johnny Tractor is also fun because we can point out which animals are still awake and which ones have fallen asleep. But the amount of hoops you have to jump through to make the glow in the dark feature work (high powered flashlight? really?) and the blatant product placement gives the nod to the collection of cute Eric Carle farm animal illustrations with accompanying sound bites, ensuring that the Sweet 16 will feature Carle on Carle crime.When I read books to my son I always tell him who the author is. I mispronounced Carle (I was saying Car-lee) approximately 700 times before my wife overhead me and said something akin to, "The E is silent dumbass".

(6) Curious George to the Rescue defeats (3) The Runaway Bunny
Curious George to the Rescue has everything a 22 month old with a short attention span could want: slide and peek action, a monkey, a dachshund on roller skates, an adult getting covered in spaghetti, and awesome opportunities for Dad to make fun sound effects. In comparison The Runaway Bunny has huge chunks of text with boring black and white photos and zero text to read on the interesting color photos. It also has a Mama Bunny that makes the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother look like June Cleaver. The Runaway Bunny is sent packing, as chants of “overrated” fill the gym.

(2) Chicka Chicka Boom Boom defeats (7) I Kissed the Baby
A tighter than expected battle as my son’s current enjoyment of Chicka Chicka Boom Boom narrowly defeats the fun I had reading I Kissed the Baby to him when he was a baby. In I Kissed the Baby various animals boast of feeding, singing to, tickling, and kissing the baby. So for each part I’d singOne of the many reasons I love my son is he is the only person on the planet who requests that I sing., tickle (love his little laugh), or give him a big kiss. Also, any chance I get to quack like a duck is one I have to take. But nowadays James just wants to hear about how A told B and B told C to meet him at the top of the coconut tree. This short version of Chicka Chicka Boom BoomThe long version takes a great nursery rhyme and turns it into a Lynchian nightmare without rhythm or sense. heads to the Sweet 16.

Little Golden Books Region

(1) Peek-a-who defeats (8) Good Night, Little Bear
Daddy: “James, what sound does a doggy make?” James: blank stare
Daddy: “James, what sound does a kitty make?” James: blank stare
Daddy: “James what sound does an owl make?" James: "Hoo! Hoo!"
We have a garden and James will often help me while I am pulling weeds or tying up tomato plants. To keep the birds away we have a plastic owl that sits on a tomato stake. James loves the owl and quickly learned what sound an owl makes. He always get super excited when we read a book with an owl in it. So whenever we read Good Night Little Bear he wiggles impatiently, turning the pages furiously when allowed, all so he can get to the page with the owl on it, point it out, and yell Hoo! Hoo!. Peek-a-who has an owl on the first page. Delayed gratification has nothing on instant satisfaction for a 22 month old. Peek-a-who marches on.

(4) Hand, Hand, Fingers Thumb defeats (5) Daddy Cuddles
I have to admit, I’m very partial to Daddy Cuddles. There are just way too many books where it’s always Mama Bunny or Mama Duck or Mama Bear. Daddy always gets the shaft. But not in Daddy Cuddles! We have Daddy Kangaroos and Daddy Penguins and Daddy Koalas and Daddy Monkeys. But it’s always a little awkward at the end when we read “Just like your Daddy cuddles you” and the picture looks nothing like us. Put a mirror at the end Daddy Cuddles! Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb on the other hand is rip roaring fun the whole way through. I defy anyone to read this book without bouncing to the rhythm. And every children's book is better when it has a barrel full of monkeys.

(3) The Monster at the End of This Book defeats (6) Five Little Pumpkins
I honestly have no idea what the selection committee was thinking here. If you are going to include a seasonal Halloween book why not go with The Pumply Dumply Pumpkin? Yes there are some fun moments with Five Little Pumpkins: making the ooooooooooooooooo sound when the wind blows and laughing as the pumpkins roll out of sight is great and the pun on the back cover blurb is deliciously groan worthy. But come on! The best Halloween book moment is when the reader has to try and figure out what Peter is going to do with that pumply dumply pumpkin. Nothing puts Daddy to the test like having to spit out pumpkin pudding pumpkin pie pumpkin pickles pumpkin fry without getting tongue twisted. Bad bad call by the committee. Regardless, the lone seasonal book in the tournamentWe have yet to encounter a good Christmas children’s book. They are all awful. Especially the one with the weird alien elf. And the one that makes loud noises. And so on. gets bounced easily by Grover.

(7) Eight Silly Monkeys defeats (2) Dr. Seuss ABC
In a hard fought contest Dr. Seuss ABC loses on a last second shot by Eight Silly Monkeys. On paper this looked like a sure thing for Dr. Seuss. Sweet alliteration (Jerry Jordan’s Jelly Jars, Painting Some Pajamas Pink, Willy’s in the Washtub Washing Walda Woo) and great illustrations make this fun for both Daddy and James. But Eight Silly Monkeys pulled off the victory thanks to an unfortunate event that occurred when James was younger. One night he was playing on our bed and he fell face first into the foot board, opening a cut above his eye. From that day forward whenever we read Eight Silly Monkeys he gets very serious, points to the bed, and says, “Boom”. That’s right James! You went boom just like those silly monkeys. If only we had read Eight Silly Monkeys before we played on the bed. Solid fundamentals (teaching life lessons) carry Eight Silly Monkeys into the Sweet 16.

That's a wrap for today! Join us tomorrow when the books in the Dr Seuss and Good Night regions square off in their first round match-ups!

The Tournament of Children's Books

While watching the NCAA basketball tournament last monthAnd crying because my Kentucky Wildcats missed the Big Dance this year I decided that this blog needed its own tournament. Over the next seven days 32 children’s books will battle for the coveted title of Writing Bout Reading’s Best Children’s Book of All Time! To start with, here's a look at how the books were selected, why your favorite book might have missed the field, how the books were seeded, and how the books will be judged.

The Selection Process: The 32 books included in the bracket were selected based on how much my 22 month old son seemed to enjoy them. Obviously books aimed at older children (Charlotte’s Web, The Narnia Books, Harry Potter, etc.) were sent packing and encouraged to try again in a few years. Classics that we do not yet own were also left hoping for an NIT bid (sorry The Giving Tree, Where the Wild Things Are, and what would have been one of my preseason favorites if we owned a copy, Grover and the Everything in the Whole Wide World Museum).

The Seeding Process: Once the 32 book field had been selected the books were sorted into four regions (Mother Goose, Dr. Seuss, Little Golden Books, and Good Night) and seeded 1-8. Seeds were based on each book’s Amazon bestseller list ranking. The overall #1 seed, The Very Hungry Caterpillar clocked in at #67 on Amazon while the final #8 seed, A Cuddle for Little Duck was ranked #5,307,777.

The Match-ups: Match-ups will be determined based on how much my son enjoys reading the book, the book's staying power (does my son still like it two months down the road), and how little the book burns me out when I’m required to read it over and over and over and over.

So without further adieu, here’s the field! Let the speculation begin! Who do you expect to make it to the Final Four? What potential match-ups are you looking forward to? What upsets do you think will happen? Tomorrow, the Round of 32 begins with first round games in the Mother Goose and Little Golden Books regions being decided.

Click here for a zoomable version!